I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
