All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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