the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
