Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
