this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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