oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
