Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
