There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
