My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
she smelled like a LAN party
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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