apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
