I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Randomize
