I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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