guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
