Someone shit on the floor
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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