this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
