we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
In America we eat man semen.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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