You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
