We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
