Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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