I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
