i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
