omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
