just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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