OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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