Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
