just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
