I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
