it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
only you would photoshop your dick
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
