No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
