Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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