Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
