Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I think i got beer on your cat.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
