He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
please come you make the beer taste better
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize