Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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