I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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