Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
