Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
