did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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