I hate all girls vehemently.
I didn't shave. On purpose
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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