I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize