So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i came on her dog
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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