so explain again why im purple
no
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize