yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
