if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
