does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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