You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
