her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
