the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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