i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
