So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
