I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
