I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
