I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
