Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
