he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize