She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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