it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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