dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
