we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
