I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she peed on how many people?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Randomize
